Out of a great need

we are all holding hands

and climbing.

Not loving is a letting go.

Listen

the terrain around here

is far too dangerous for that.

-Hafiz

The recent events in this world can stupefy us with their cruelty and pain. There is war, chaos, injustice and grief. We may rage in anger or retreat in fear or overwhelm just to feel safe.

There is an ancient healing practice called tonglen that cultivates fearlessness and compassion in the face of suffering and all that seems unfixable. Tonglen is a way of connecting with the pain that we cannot change, whether it be a person or a situation. In tonglen, the practice is to breathe that person or thing into the heart and then breathe out the fear and resistance with kindness.

This practice is coming to terms with what feels true inside, even the darkest feelings, breathing not only the pain of oneself, but for the world. This is not a superficial exercise. To take in pain and grief with this kind of softness may seem counter-intuitive. Why would you want to take in what you most wish to eliminate? It goes against the grain of wanting to control things on our own terms.

But consider truly feeling what you feel and actually take it in—then, send out relief to all who are just like you, who want to be strong—or who want to be kind but are actually angry or numb because of fear or loss. We may find that the more negativity we take in with a sense of openness and compassion, the more goodness there is to breathe out.*

It may be hard to face the darkness, to ride the wave of being stuck in the muck. But we can hold the world and those we care for. We can breathe in this kindness for all of us, and breathe it back out with love -for all of us.

Enclosed is a resource used by Congolese women survivors of domestic violence. For generations they have used fingerholds to manage overwhelming and difficult emotions in times of profound stress. These fingerholds can reduce stress and help us feel overwhelmed.

As we breathe in and out

*Chogyam Trungpa