Today, I stand under one of the tallest trees in the world. A fire burned through this forest recently, which altered the land and all that grew here. These great redwoods were hollowed out yet still stand in witness. Their wise silence is only altered by the wind. 

On this day, south of the Redwoods, other fires have been raging. I myself was born there. People I know and love have just witnessed much of their lives burn to the ground. But then I look at the base of the great charred redwood. I am struck by a fierce energy coming from beneath the ground.

What now?

The earth is rumbling with turbulence.

But above the planet debris, the blue remains so utter, air so still. 

Everything clamors for your attention: the world, the wind and wildfires, the work, the cravings, the people you cannot fix, the hurts, regrets, shame—yours or others passed down to you... your deep grief, its unexpected losses and realizations, your fear of the future, fear of the now, that incessant drumbeat that insists on constant production, the performance of a version of yourself that is not you, the child inside that begs to be heard.

This holiday season, there is a profound incongruence in our world situation, within our families, and within ourselves. The lights, traditions, and expectations of the season may feel hollow compared to the uncertainty and violence in the world and perhaps in the face of one's own crippling depression. So you may struggle mightily when the season calls for celebration. We know that grief and sorrow have no convenient timetable at such a time. 

All at once everything is different. It can happen in an instant or a day. The world goes dark, stark, violent.  An accident an assault, a murder, a suicide, a heart attack, a terminal diagnosis, a national disaster, a fire, hurricane, or a betrayal, a revelation, even an offhanded remark.

When the unexpected devastates you, there is a before and there is the now.  Many may share the event. But sometimes nobody knows. You may have lost your home or health, your livelihood, your partner or your child. You may have been betrayed by the person you thought you could trust the most.  Whatever it is, nothing is the same, yet the world outside goes on.  

And you are still you.