Welcome to Taking Back Ourselves.

WE ENVISION A WORLD WHERE… 

Every person experiencing sexual trauma is offered a community of support, freedom from stigma, and tools that heal mind, body, and soul. 

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And Suddenly...
And Suddenly...

All at once everything is different. It can happen in an instant or a day. The world goes dark, stark, violent.  An accident an assault, a murder, a suicide, a heart attack, a terminal diagnosis, a national disaster, a fire, hurricane, or a betrayal, a revelation, even an offhanded remark.

When the unexpected devastates you, there is a before and there is the now.  Many may share the event. But sometimes nobody knows. You may have lost your home or health, your livelihood, your partner or your child. You may have been betrayed by the person you thought you could trust the most.  Whatever it is, nothing is the same, yet the world outside goes on.  

And you are still you.

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The First Annual Thrivers’ Cookout in Ohio
The First Annual Thrivers’ Cookout in Ohio

On Saturday, the 28th of September, a small band of 3 folks in Ohio put together the First Annual Thrivers’ Cookout! We decided that since healing really does happen in community, it was high time we had some fun together! No therapy, no telling our stories, just good food, great company and a little music. 

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The Hole in the Heart...
The Hole in the Heart...

You may already sense—as an observant human and certainly from your experience as a survivor of sexual trauma—that no matter how your violation occurred it is the perpetrator’s narcissism that has left its indelible imprint on your heart.  

The perpetrator might have appeared to have all the power. Perhaps they even expressed interest and concern about you, the victim. But in fact, there was a specific self-centeredness that belied their own deep sense of emptiness and profound self-loathing. All of this was contained in an encasement of shame… creating a false self. For the narcissist, this view of the self may not always hit their own conscious awareness and can masquerade as high self-regard. But any threat to the false self will be responded to as if it were an assault to the "real self” inside, because it threatens their own primitive fear of abandonment and annihilation. 

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TAKING BACK OURSELVES…

Creates safe, nurturing, and diverse spaces where survivors are empowered to free their voice, connect with community, and feel that healing is possible through an embodied recovery process. We are dedicated to empowering survivors of sexual abuse and assault to be whole, healed, and connected to others.

Our mission is to serve sexual abuse and assault survivors of incest, rape, domestic violence, racially motivated sexual abuse, sex trafficking, assault in the workplace, military sexual assault, survivors of religious and clergy abuse, academic and sports related abuse, those assaulted in the performing arts, disabled survivors of sexual assault whose abuse is gravely under-reported, survivors of war crimes including rape and trafficking, and trans survivors who often struggle to find a safe space to heal. 

WHAT WE DO

Taking Back Ourselves supports that mission by hosting in-person and virtual Weekends of Recovery and Events of Healing for survivors of all walks of life and by offering virtual and in-person Weekends and Days of Recovery for survivors in venues across the country.   These events provide a safe, deep, and joyful multi-modal experience and create a powerful community of survivors.  We offer scholarships and free resources for applicants who do not have the means to travel or participate.  

When survivors experience community and healing in a safe and embodied way, then everybody—men, women, children, our planet— are better off.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

“The weekend changed me. I met people who shared my pain, encouraged my growth, and gave me tools to carry forward. I also found my “safe family” those who “got” me on a level I’ve never before found. I carry TBO’s lessons in my core every day.”
— J.L.

Learn more about what we do on our YouTube channel

Our History

Since 2014, in Ohio, Utah, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, and California, TBO has given survivors of all genders an incredible space to experience being truly empowered and whole. Taking Back Ourselves (TBO) has provided experiential in-person and Virtual Weekends of Recovery, Events of Healing across the country, and resources for survivors of all genders. The Weekends of Recovery offer something unprecedented in traditional recovery support. They typically accommodate a maximum of 24-women—and 6 attuned, experienced facilitators from across the U.S.

The ratio of specialty therapists to participants in small groups is a powerful adjunct to recovery. Each member of the TBO team brings decades of experience, compassion, and skill to the work with trauma survivors, utilizing mindfulness, bodywork, brain gym, authentic movement, qi gong, art, music, dance, and group process to create safety, solid support, space to be authentic and…room for joy. Women and non-binary survivors throughout the country have signed up to attend these Weekends as well as join Alumni from our brother organization MenHealing (www.menhealing.org) for Advanced Weekends bringing survivor alumni of all genders together in one place.

TBO makes every effort to make these weekends affordable without compromising the ratio of staff or the exquisite environments that support the work. The funds raised are spent on the provision of service and small stipends and modest travel expenses for the facilitators—but mostly on safe and nourishing venues and tuition scholarships for participants. We know that survivors typically engage far fewer resources when it comes to their own self-care, concentrating more on family, work, or significant others before committing to their own recovery needs. So TBO provides such a space, to create a vibrant and strong community of recovery.

Photo by NL

Events of Healing

To celebrate the resilience of the human spirit and share the journey of recovery through art, music, and stories.

Whether you have experienced sexual abuse in your family, in your church or temple, in a school or in sports, in the military or in your workplace, we welcome you and those caregivers, families or friends who support you.   EVENTS of Healing provide a space to join together in lifting the veil of secrecy and shame of sexual trauma.  By bringing the issue of sexual abuse and assault out from the shadows, Events of Healing create an opening for increased awareness and to recognize that healing is truly possible.

 There are personal stories with a panel of who speak about the gifts and challenges of recovery, a survivor art exhibit, information about what is available for survivors in your community, and a chance to share together as a community.  This is an opportunity for all survivors to ask questions, and to find resources and support.

A Note to the Survivor Community

The present time has been a time of profound uncertainty and loss.  You may be scared, bored, restless.  It is hard to find support.  Some of you are utterly overworked as you take care of the rest of us.  

This is a hard season, a long one—

So what do we do now?  We tackle uncertainty, suffering, inconvenience, shortages, racism, inequality, death.

We garner hope and resilience.   

How do we make meaning of it all , and this precious life?

Please weigh in, either anonymously or by name.  Send it to us.  Write what you know, what you are experiencing, and what you are learning.  Send it our way so we can share it.

We know that much in the way that a pebble dropped in a pond spreads out and affects even the furthest shore of a lake, survivors who experience a Weekend of Recovery can take a profound healing back into their lives that will impact all their relationships.

…To that piece in each of us that refuses to be silent.

*I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. 

—Audre Lorde